On punching Nazis

I do not condone the punching of Nazis.

I do, however, condone the punching of anyone else sporting Richard Spencer’s awful haircut.

I started noticing people wearing that haircut at a tech conference about a year and a half ago. The guys wearing it were all in their 20s and also wore skin-tight jeans and smart watches. I’d bet 80% of them had the word “designer” somewhere in their job title. Buncha hipsters, and probably a disproportionately large number of them were gay. I only mention that because I thought it was weird that they were walking around with the same haircut Ralph Fiennes had in Schindler’s List. Weren’t the Nazis, like, anti-gay and stuff?

Later I found out there’s something to this. The haircut is popular in the gay community. They call it “fashy” (fascist-like). I don’t pretend to understand, but maybe it’s an attempt at irony. But it’s enough of a thing that somebody made these GIFs and included the word “fabulous”:

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My wife confirms that I’ve been complaining about this atrocious haircut at least since October of 2015. At that time I vaguely recognized the name Richard Spencer back from a couple pieces I’d read on AlternativeRight dot com way back in the day, but I didn’t know what he looked like. I only found that out in the summer of 2016, when pictures of Spencer showed up in a few point-and-sputter articles about the Alt Right.

By then I strongly associated the haircut with hipsters and gay people, so I was a bit surprised to see it on Spencer. My first thought was, “Well, maybe he’s gay. Maybe he and Jack Donovan…you know…” Then I thought “Maybe his day job is graphic design?” I discounted the possibility that it was as dumb and simple as “modern neo-Nazi models his look on a liberal actor’s portrayal of an actual Nazi in a movie made by a Jewish guy.”

Well, now that Richard Spencer’s been punched to death in the face I guess we’ll never know.

But back to the haircut: it’s just an awful haircut. There’s something about it that makes a man look overly preened and primped, like a little fancy boy. The nearly shaved, highly utilitarian sides and then this pompous just-for-show turkey wattle on top…something about the contradiction, maybe, or perhaps the masculinity of the sides only serve to accentuate the femininity of the top, and the contradiction instead is with the fact that this haircut is worn by men (though I’ve seen a few black women also wear it, and it looks much better on them).

Ironically, the Germans would be the ones to supply the perfect word: Backpfeifengesicht, only for haircuts. A haircut in need of a fist. Punch away!

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